Journal of Male Physicians

Archive Entry

Medical Routines for Women

Advice for post-partum fatigue

By Dr Quakenverner, M.D.

I. Prologue – New Practices

In my time, however brief, as Royal Physician to the King and Queen of Holland, I learned many things. For example, many women experience fatigue after childbirth. It is of the utmost importance that a woman improve her condition swiftly so she can return to her domestic duties.

II. Feminine Procedural Diagnostics

The following is a general routine for women experiencing post-partum fatigue:

First, let a tablespoon of blood from your index finger every morning to rebalance the humours

Next, perform an enema daily. Without medical supplies, you can sit downstream in a river and use a hollowed out reed to direct the flow of water. Find a moment to do this whilst the baby is napping.

Lastly, when sleeping, place your husband’s hat over your face. The skin residue you inhale will provide the strengthening masculine energies you need to heal.*

*Don’t do this for more than a week, however, as it may have a damaging effect on your feminine wiles.